What do want? Yeah, right now… what do you desire? Go on, close your eyes and feel it…. Why is it important to you? What difference will it make to you to make this happen? When the going get’s tough, will you keep going? Or will you give up?
As you know, I sold my place in March with the intention of exploring inspiring place and growing my business from Italy, USA and beyond.
What I didn’t know a few months ago, was that the rheumatoid arthritis which my body has experienced since childhood was going to flare as I awaited treatment. I’ve now had the two infusions of this drug and it will take some weeks or months to feel the benefit.
Being completely honest with you, I’ve found it really hard to stay positive at times when it’s been a real struggle to be mobile. And I’m anticipating my left ankle being replaced later this year. There have been many tears of frustration and pain. There have been really down days. And I’ve been wondering if and when I’ll be well enough to fulfil my desire of travelling.
Remember that 1980’s band, Simple Minds? Well I recently discovered
they were playing an acoustic concert in London last Sunday. As I knew my daughter Becky loves their music too, I asked her if she’d like to come with me. I booked the concert tickets, a hotel in Covent Garden and my train ticket. And then my ego kicked in…. What? How are you going to do that? How are you going to manage getting on and off the train? How will you carry your bag? How will you get from place to place? Instead of being excited, I was anxious, my heart sunk…. what had I done? I questioned myself… maybe it was too much for me. It would be easier not to go. Easier to stay in. A relief not to face the fear and the additional pain.
And then, I pulled myself together.
I was going to blooming go!
Sometimes we have to hold our own feet to the fire, to achieve what we really desire.
Giving up was not an option.
And I’d take my folding walking stick in my bag.
So I went and you know what? Yes, it was painful and challenging – but I did it! I had the best time. The gig was incredible, I sang, d-a-n-c-e-d by my seat and laughed with Becky. The next day, I even managed to get to the National Gallery to explore some Rembrandt paintings and Queen Mary’s Rose Garden in the Inner Circle of Regent’s Park to smell the fragrance – and to remember how sweet life can be.
To think I could have missed out on this.
I returned to where I’m staying with such a big smile on my face. Feeling on a real high. This had been a pivotal moment in my personal journey.
I am not giving up on my dreams – and neither should you. Don’t sell yourself short. Don’t give up, if what you want is important to you. Don’t give in to self doubt. Don’t listen to those who would rather you stay safe and small. Even if you wonder if you have the energy or the strength (you do btw!).
Do what lights you up, even if it’s a stretch.
Do believe in yourself and your dreams – you have them for a reason.
So what does this mean to me… well, I’ve got the evidence that I even when it feels challenging, painful, I can still do it. So before my ankle is replaced, I’m going to have this adventure. I’m not going to let anything stop me. And neither should you!
Here’s to your dreams, your determination and your happiness.
I love you and I believe in you.