I’m on a mission. I believe that for too long women have felt invisible in their mid years. The patriarchal system has time and time again, favoured younger women over older women and as a consequence, women at this stage of our lives have often forgotten how truly valuable we are.
We arrive at this stage of life, in the menopausal years, with our children leaving home, having often sacrificed ourselves in many ways, to progress our children and our partners/husbands, now many experience lower self esteem, feeling disconnected from our lives and with a sense of loss. I stand with you.
You may ask yourself ‘who am I now?’, ‘there must be more to life?’ In the past, I’ve asked those same questions, I take a stand for you now and say – “yes there is – it’s your time now!” I invite you, to redefine midlife and come on a journey with me!
This is my story
As a single parent with two beautiful daughters, I remember going through a stage in my own life when I struggled with big debt, struggled with ill health, broken romantic relationships and I frequently wondered who I’d become.
I remember thinking, ‘this isn’t how I imagined my life would become’, ‘there must be more to life than this’. I found myself feeling stuck in my situation. Not feeling good, ashamed of my debt and searching for a way forward. I felt like a victim of my situation and powerless to change. I wanted more for my life, more money in my purse, to be a good role model to my daughters and I was feeling depressed.
But then, by chance I was introduced to the world of personal development by a good friend and plugged into events, conferences, books and CD’s – my car became my classroom. Whilst working with a coach I realised that what brought me greatest joy was to work with women, to help them to deepen their belief and trust in themselves. I realised I’d been doing this naturally throughout my recruitment career.
I began to feel alive again, radiant. I started to take responsibility for my situation. My confidence began to increase. Another friend offered me a part time job in the events industry, which I took. At that stage, I decided to retrain as an Life Coach and then as an NLP Practitioner so I could become better equipped to help women regain their confidence and self esteem.
After my formal training, I began hosting regular free teleclasses, hosted workshops. The ladies at these workshops were asking me to help them to create the same results as I’d gained for myself – in my new found confidence as well as my successful business.
I set up 2+ monthly meet up groups, called ‘Fab Friends Network’.
I started working more deeply with clients in small sisterhood groups.
One day workshops in London.
Working with clients around the world on a ‘1 to 1’ basis.
Hosted retreats in the south of France in an old chateau on the banks of the Canal du Midi.
Worked with high end clients and even a celebrity client. It was exciting to be helping so many women around the UK and overseas.
After a massive flare up of my juvenile rheumatoid arthritis in 2014 (which I’ve had since I was 9 years old), burn out from a year long business intensive course and both my children leaving home around 2016, I once again felt disconnected from my self. My identity as a woman was changing and I was now living alone; I felt incredibly lonely. After taking a few years out of my business, I decided at 49 years, to transform my life once again – to redefine my own midage!
Rather than continue feeling stuck, or seeing this as the end of something, I chose to see this as the beginning of my new life and embarked on a fresh and brave adventure. I sold my home in Buckinghamshire, put everything that was important to me into a small storage unit, and walked away from that unit with no place to call home.
I had an epic time finding my inspiration, travelling around the UK spending time with friends and family, renting holiday cottages, going where I felt inspired, whilst I brought all the pieces of me, back together once again.
Now, I’m living a new chapter of life, having settled in Devon with my partner Andrew and am feeling I’m through another of life’s challenges, with even more insights and again back into the light. I’m expanding my business once again, as I feel called to be of even greater service.
From the beginning of my coaching career, I’ve been honoured to work with women typically in their late 40’s and 50’s. Through our work together, my clients begin to ooze a joyful radiance that only comes from feeling confident and self awareness.
With my help to tap into her deepest desires, we awaken her true calling and her courage to follow through.
Each of my clients desires are unique to them, many have found love again from a place of wholeness, some have included beginning or grow lifestyle businesses, giving themselves permission to move to new countries – some just want to feel alive and happy again.
Their transformation is deep, humbling and profound.
I find it interesting that for many of us, when our children are leaving home, we’re also navigating hormonal changes. Even as a coach helping others, after my girls had grown and flown, I still needed help, to find myself once again. You may relate to my story and know how that feels.
One of my own desires, was to move across the country and live nearer to my parents so I could know them better. I myself left home when I was in my teenage years and shortly after, they moved moved away. Now I live just a short drive from them. I’m loving the opportunity to deepen my relationship with them and bake them cakes! And what’s also great, we live near the seaside, so I get to pop down to have a walk along the promenade and an ice cream most weeks. Another desire was finding a home with Andrew, my partner and finally living together.
Having a chronic condition such as arthritis hasn’t stopped me from too much. Even awaiting an ankle replacement I managed a big trip to the US with my daughter Becky in 2018 it began in San Diego where I attended a business course. We caught trains, planes and Ubers! Seeing the Grand Canyon and visiting Sedona was incredible as was spending time with my fabulous US friends in LA. Andrew and I spent some time before my operation in Barbados, which is a favourite place for us – and it’s always so good for my body to swim in warm waters.
I also believe in championing those in their later years, and I have a very special elder friend who I know feels loneliness since their life partner died. It is my privilege to be their friend, making phone calls to them and visits, taking them shopping or out for a cup of tea. I always feel uplifted after our time together and look forward to the next time as do they.